Baggage Is Real & Reasonable – It Causes You to Not Trust Others

My teal green baggage is hogging up the trunk of my car! A few years ago I bought a Toyota Hybrid for its great gas mileage. It truly has been a smart economic choice and I would not change it.

The downside of a hybrid is the tiny trunk. The battery takes up half the trunk, so packing a lot of baggage is not very conducive to a hybrid.

A few days ago I was standing in my garage with my 17 year-old son and my husband. We were going on one last summer get-away before school started. My husband pops the trunk and inside the trunk was my teal green suitcase. I turn around to see them both staring at me. My large bulky bag did not allow room for their modest bags. Not a problem for most people—just use the back seat. My son is 6’10” and he uses the entire back seat, so there is no room for additional baggage.

I felt a brief rush of shame for having so much baggage. I could read their faces and they were saying, “How could someone have such a big bag?” And, “What about our small bags?” And “Are you kidding?”

The strange thing about baggage is that we are so familiar with it, and we don’t trust that everything will work out without it. Even though we have a fleeting moment of shame, it is difficult to part with baggage. We think that the baggage keeps us connected to the relationship. We think the baggage keeps us safe from future unsafe relationships.

Psalms 56:3 tells us “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.” In order to put down the baggage of the past, we have to replace it with something stronger and greater. The only person I put that kind of trust in is Jesus Christ. I have to remind myself that everyone gets one carry-on, so when I have my one bag I try to remember that Jesus gives me grace to handle the small bag.

Bottom-line: Your baggage is real and reasonable and causes you to be cautious with trusting others. Through coaching or counseling, learn about boundaries so you have some tools to navigate in future relationships. Learn how to let safe people in and keep unsafe people out.

Tool: Don’t stuff your emotions. Stuffing emotions makes the baggage implode to even larger baggage. Seek wisdom, and journal and process feelings with a safe person. Processing feelings does not lead to acting on the feelings. One of God’s greatest desires is for us to have healthy relationships and to not spend our lives in the baggage claim department.