We Can’t Balance an Overloaded Beam

Have you ever wheeled a large suitcase across a grassy, bumpy field? It doesn’t work. Just doesn’t! I remember a Women’s Conference I attended a few years ago and I had to hike across a big field with my suitcase to get to my cabin. For some reason, I had a lodge with nice beds and maybe a hot tub. I had three young kids at the time and I just had this vision of sitting in a hot tub with girlfriends!

The first morning we started off with a great breakfast and I was totally enjoying being served; and the food was delicious. And then, yikes! We were informed that we were going to be participating in a ropes course. I instantly had visions of a zip line and little beams in the air followed by “character building talks”. I started looking for the exit door to this retreat. If there is anything I despise it’s a ropes course and forced trust building. Strangely, all the other ladies seemed very excited—and off we went.

As my vision unfolded into a reality, the ropes instructor gathered us together to start us on our first challenge, walking across a very narrow beam. It’s baffling who invented this apparatus but, it certainly was not a group of moms over 35 years old. One by one each lady had to get from one end to the other, with a few wobbles and bobbles, without falling into a foam pit. I am serious. Believe it or not, this balancing act was a huge struggle for our group. I think birthing children does something to your balance.

If there is one thing I talk to women about more than any other topic, it is this topic of balance. Balance. It’s kind of like a mermaid; we’ve heard about it, read about it, seen it in Disney movies, but I was beginning to think it wasn’t a real thing.

Here’s the problem with the balance struggle: It’s the job description our society has given us. Back in the day, this job description did not exist. Check this out. Most women today tell me they are creating dreamlike childhoods for their kids, cultivating and energizing world changing careers, creating gorgeous homes and landscapes, providing homemade meals, keeping marriage fervor going, blending healthy shakes for their children every morning, engaging in various relationships in diversified communities, scheduling self-care, volunteering at church/school/neighborhood, and fulfilling an active relationship with Jesus Christ.

No one can pull this off. No one is pulling this off. The women who swim with this mermaid only display the best parts of their job description. No one can fragment their time into this many categories.

Here’s the rub: Social media. We are exposed daily to see 10 tips to healthy eating, 5 fantastic family night ides, and beautiful tips to a perfect yard. So then we combine every genre, every women we admire and we conclude, “I should be like that.” The only thing worse than this is the guilt that follows. Nothing can supersize your baggage like guilt. We are not appraising our lives with accuracy. We are ranking ourselves by viewing the very best of others, which is what social media displays.

Bottom-line: We cannot do it all, have it all, or master it all. That is simply not a thing. I have never seen a real mermaid and neither have you. We need to stop being awesome and start being wise.

Tool: Figure out how to get across the beam and what is causing you to fall from the beam.

Take a self-evaluation. Check in with yourself. Here we go!

• Sunday night family meetings; Life-giving. On the beam.

• Teaching Sunday school; honestly can’t. Off the beam.

• Morning devotionals with my kids; Top priority. On the beam.

• Kids playing more than 1 sport; not possible. Off the beam.

• Weekly coffee date with accountability partner; Personal sanity. On the beam.

• Craft mother at my son’s school; don’t have the know-how. Off the beam.

You have the green light to decide and make decisions on how you get across the beam. Formulate your choices through this lens: seasons. Ask God what this season needs of you. God wants this freedom for us. So by all means, you can’t balance an overloaded beam. If we pair down our lives to what is essential, imperative, and fulfilling, we may just notice that there wasn’t a beam there in the first place. We may notice that God’s Kingdom does not require a balancing act, and Jesus was in the fun foam pit all along!